To Love A Monster

This heartbreak—

I saw it coming.

Still, I placed my heart in your open palms,

though it begged me not to.

I saw the blood in your creases—

ghosts of past lovers,

victims whispering to me,

pleading: run while you still can.

But something merciless lives within me—

a wild, persistent hope

that I could change a monster

into a lover.

My worth clings to

the impossibility of your approval.

Why do I need the monster to love me?

He does not even love himself.

To crave love from the monster

is to stand before a mirror,

and find a monster

staring back.

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About The Poem

“To Love a Monster” is an introspective poem exploring the psychology of attachment wounds and the patterns we repeat in relationships.

At its core, this piece reflects on a difficult truth: we are often drawn to what feels familiar, even when it hurts. When attachment wounds remain unexamined, they can quietly shape who we choose, what we tolerate, and how we define love.

This poem asks a piercing question: If we keep loving what breaks us, who is the real heartbreaker? Is it the person we chose or the unresolved attachment wound guiding the choice?

“To Love a Monster” examines how emotional familiarity can disguise itself as chemistry, and how unhealed attachment patterns can recreate cycles of longing, distance, and heartbreak.

*First published in The Walnut Branch (Vol. 4, 2025), titled "Seeking What I Am”